Stuck in the Middle: Retirement Planning
Originally published at www.theglobeandmail.com on November 5, 2012. “Many boomers are assisting parents financially or are losing income because of their eldercare obligations,” says Mara Osis, founder of ElderWise, an organization that provides information and coaching to help families caring for elderly loved ones. “They may turn down career opportunities or even retire early, if they feel it’s up to them to take on this responsibility and don’t see any other way of doing it.” Read the complete article:...
Read MoreLong Term (Care) Planning: It’s Not Just for the Old
Canadians have been quietly caring for their elderly for hundreds of years. Suddenly, however, it seems that long term care has worked its way from obscurity into the national limelight virtually overnight. If you consider the state of the country, the reasons are obvious. Canada’s population is aging rapidly. According to a Statistics Canada 2001 report the number of people aged 65 and over is expected to double from nearly 4 million in 2000 to almost 8 million by 2026. By 2016 at the latest, Canada will have far more seniors than children aged 14 and under, a phenomenon never before recorded. The most rapidly growing age group, however, will be those over 80. Canada’s health care system is being restructured province by province; change and upheaval are the norm. The only sure thing seems to be less money and care for the old who require the most care. Canadians are worried. By 2031, over 750,000 Canadians will have Alzheimer Disease or related dementia unless a cure is found before then. Almost 25 per cent of Canadians now have someone with Alzheimer Disease in their family. Family caregivers are beginning to understand that caring today does not last for a few weeks or months as it did in the ‘old days’ – it can now last up to twenty years or more, completely disrupting one’s personal, work and financial life. There is an undeniable financial burden involved in long term care. No matter where care is provided - in the home or in an institution - families invariably end up paying for some products and services out of their own pockets. In fact, informal caregivers’ financial subsidy of cost of services delivered to the home, and in casual expenditures (food, laundry, gas, parking, etc.) - total about $100 mission a week or more, suggesting that caregivers spend at least $5 billion a year. Many caregivers report they have had to cut back on their personal budgets, use up their savings or borrow money to meet their caregiving financial obligations. Although many of us are aware of these care realities, Canadians continue to put long-term care planning on the back burner. “It won’t happen to me”, “My spouse will look after me”, “The kids will look after me”, “The government will provide for me” – continue to replace critical planning steps we all need to take. These include: 1. Looking after our health. Diabetes and obesity are running rampant among adults – and our children 2. Talking to our parents and spouses about what we all want as we age 3. Talking to our financial advisors about what we want as we age, and together coming up with a plan to ensure we have the financial and social resources to care for ourselves till the end of life. It’s never too early or too late to start planning for long term care. As the saying goes: Just do it! Guest Author: Karen Henderson, Founder, Caregiver Network Vol. 2, No. 20; © Karen Henderson, 2005...
Read MoreAging Parents and Adult Children Living Together? Talk Before You Pack
Are you considering moving in with your adult children? Are you thinking about having your aging parent(s) move into your home? Whatever your reason, you can expect that some intergenerational households will work well, but others are filled with tension. Moving in together can work, but success is greater when everyone pays attention is paid to each others’ autonomy and where certain things are negotiated beforehand: Respect Autonomy Seniors have been making their own decisions for a long time. Asking them to give up this independence can create feelings of tension and disrespect – even when the adult child is trying, out of love, to help the parent stay safe and healthy. To the senior, it can feel like the adult child is dictating to them how to live their lives. Negotiate Important Matters If you are considering living together, ask these questions of yourself and discuss them with each other. Why do you want to live together? Is this the best choice for all concerned? Have you evaluated other options: home care, assisted living or a personal care home? Do family relationships allow you to communicate openly and discuss mutual concerns? Have you enjoyed extended periods of time together before? Can you have a “trial” period? Where grandchildren are present, who will be responsible for discipline? How will you provide privacy for each generation? How will household chores be divided? What are the financial issues involved? How long might this living arrangement last? What will you do if the arrangement is not working? Are the parent’s health concerns escalating? Will more care be required? Do adult children have career commitments, health problems or other issues that may affect their ability to cope? How will the adult child have respite and holidays? Who else will help? Whatever reasons may prompt you to decide to share a home, your family can enjoy the mutual respect, support and contributions of each generation. But please: Talk before you pack! Vol.2, No.10; © ElderWise Inc. 2006 You have permission to reprint this or any other ElderWise INFO articles, provided you reproduce it in its entirety, acknowledge our copyright, and include the following statement: Originally published by ElderWise Inc. We provide clear, concise and practical directions for Canadians with aging parents. Visit us at http://elderwise.memwebs.com and subscribe to our FREE e-newsletter. ...
Read MoreEstate Planning Part 2: Four Common Mistakes
Whether we like it or not, some parts of life are complex. We need help with areas where we lack experience or expertise. This is certainly true when it comes to certain legal, financial and tax matters – all of which can come into play with estate planning. But emotional pitfalls and relationship issues can also arise during estate planning. Here are four common estate planning mistakes to avoid: Mistake #1: Not changing your documents as you and your family experience life-changing events. There are dozens of life-changing events which should trigger the review of your legal and financial decisions. These include health problems, employment and business changes, births and deaths, marriages and divorces. For example, divorce does not invalidate a current will, but marriage does. If you purchase property outside your province of residence, the tax rules and laws of that jurisdictions may also affect your estate plan. Mistake #2: Joint ownership with or investments on behalf of children. Many parents consider joint property ownership with children as a tax-saving strategy. But property jointly owned may be vulnerable to claims by your child’s creditors – or spouses in cases of divorce. Similarly, making investments in a child’s name does not guarantee that the investments will belong to the child upon your death – unless reflected in your will. Mistake #3: Preparing your own documents. The examples above may show that both professional legal and tax advice are key factors in sound estate planning. By looking to save on professional fees to have your will prepared, you could end up costing your estate much more, and cause added grief to family members and other beneficiaries. It’s all in the details and the experienced oversight that professionals bring to the table. They are trained to catch the small mistakes or omissions that can make a huge difference. Mistake #4: Not explaining estate decisions to beneficiaries. Some people use their wills as an opportunity for “settling scores” or to establish personal power from “beyond the grave”. First and foremost, consider your motivation and how you would like to be remembered. Where a will is likely to be contentious or leave important questions unanswered, consider talking about the reasons behind decisions in your will while you are still alive. If that’s not possible, leave a letter with your executor to share with beneficiaries. Don’t put an executor in the difficult position of trying to explain or interpret your wishes. *** Our estate plan can be one of many vehicles that reflect our personal values and how we have lived them. Whatever we leave materially is only part of our legacy. But the way in which we order our practical and financial affairs gives us an opportunity to create maximum benefit and minimum burden for others. A good estate plan can serve as a powerful symbol of a life well lived – and an “end of life” well-planned. © ElderWise Inc., 2010 Vol. 6, No. 11 You have permission to reprint this or any other ElderWise INFO article, provided you reproduce it in its entirety, acknowledge our copyright, and include the following statement: Originally published by ElderWise Publishing, a division of ElderWise Inc., Canada’s go-to place for “age-smart” planning. Visit us at http://elderwise.memwebs.com/ and subscribe to our FREE...
Read MoreHelp for Caregivers
Millions of Canadians are caregivers to a family member. Many caregivers say they want and need help but don’t know where to get it or how to ask. Without that help, caregivers are at risk for physical and emotional burnout. Before asking for help, assess the specific needs. They may include: respite so you can take a vacation support to make important decisions regular phone calls/visits to you or to the care recipient financial help - or help to manage finances hands-on help with care household chores Some caregivers report “rejection” when asking for help. If other family members don’t pitch in, it may be that they don’t agree with the “needs”. If you believe that Dad should never be left alone and your brother thinks you are being over-protective, you aren’t likely to get cooperation. Explore or anticipate other family member’s beliefs about the tasks of caregiving before asking for help. Here are five more strategies for overwhelmed caregivers: Look beyond siblings – younger aunts and uncles, cousins, grandchildren and nieces and nephews may be willing to help. Start with a family meeting - face to face or telephone conference call. Without phrasing it as a demand, outline your list of needs, then ask open ended questions to find out which of these needs can be met by others. Talk to family members. Again, begin with a list. Consider what you can do to build or strengthen these relationships, and what you might do in return, particularly if you are caring from a distance. When making long-distance visits, take some time to get acquainted with your parents’ friends and neighbours, who may act as another set of eyes and ears for you. Reach out to the community. If your family belongs to a church, ask about assistance programs such as companionship, visiting, and transportation. Contact your local seniors’ centre and ask about community outreach programs. Hire help, if you can. Many private companies provide help for caregivers. Search on line or in advertisements aimed at seniors. Explore cost sharing with family members. This may allow the caregiver to use their time and energy most appropriately. Manage your emotions. Sometimes our emotions and beliefs get in the way of asking for help. Do you think you might be seen as demanding or incompetent? Does your family member say that you are the only one that can take care of them? Does that create pressure or resentment? Caregiver burnout is a serious consequence of trying to do too much for too long on your own. You can learn more about this issue in our ElderWise Guide: Caregiver Burnout: How to spot it. How to stop it. If you notice that your beliefs may be preventing you from taking care of yourself, consider talking to a medical professional, counselor or an ElderWise coach. Vol.6, No.5 © ElderWise Inc., 2010 You have permission to reprint this or any other ElderWise INFO article, provided you reproduce it in its entirety, acknowledge our copyright, and include the following statement: Originally published by ElderWise, Canada’s go-to place for “age-smart” planning. Visit us at http://elderwise.memwebs.com/ and subscribe to our FREE...
Read MoreSubscribe
